I’m now independent of his money

Dear Bunmi,

A few years ago, I was made redundant and couldn’t afford the rent to my flat. It was a struggle to maintain my car, let alone buy new things. Then I met this kind married man at a party and he took up my bills. He came to the house as often and as freely as he could for love-making. I don’t think he loves me and the feeling is mutual.

I now have a good job and I’m back on my feet financially. Unfortunately, this man doesn’t want to believe I no longer need him and continues pestering me to make love. Should I sit him down and explain how things are now, or should I ignore him and hope he gets the message?

Ayokei, by e-mail

Dear Ayokei,

As shocking as this arrangement of yours might be to some people, you seem to regard it as a business arrangement, in which case, you don’t owe him an explanation. You just cancel the ‘contract’ and that’s it. He’s a married man after all, and there is a limit to the extent of trouble he can make for you. He may be more likely to leave you alone if you tell him why it’s over.

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