Let’s talk about sex? Well, maybe in theory. In reality, most women out there have a plethora of unanswered questions they’re embarrassed to bring up with their partners, friends or even doctors. Whether you’re still hoping to find love online, are in the honeymoon stage of a relationship with your new beau or have been married for years, you’re bound to find our top 15 sex questions on women’s minds useful, entertaining, and educational.
#1: How bad is it that I sometimes think about someone other than my partner during sex?
Fantasizing about someone else is usually harmless fun, especially if that person doesn’t really exist in your everyday life, such as a celebrity or someone whose profile you’ve seen online and thought they’re cute.
Being bored with the same old routine in bed is totally expected, but if you tend to fantasize about one particular person over and over again, you should probably ask yourself why that is? Do they offer something other than a novelty that your partner doesn’t?
#2: Am I the only one who fakes orgasms so often?
No. A survey conducted by Durex revealed that 10 per cent of women fake orgasms at least once a week! The same survey showed that 80 per cent of men rate their satisfaction with how happy they make their partners in bed. If the point of the big 0 is to make him feel manlier, you can go ahead and stop what you’re doing.
If, on the other hand, you’re under pressure to climax during sex, get to know your body using sex toys to become fully aware of what you enjoy, and incorporate that into the bedroom when he’s there with you.
#3: Is the pill messing with my libido?
Quite possibly, but other birth control methods can interfere with it, too. Putting on a condom creates a break in your passion, and using IUDs can lengthen your periods, which means you get to have sex less often.
#4: What’s the average penis size?
The average erect penis size is between 5 and 7 inches or 13 to 18 cm. But size really doesn’t matter much because the most sensitive nerve endings are around the entrance to your vagina, and additional inches don’t do anything to increase your pleasure.
#5: How long does sex normally last?
According to a survey conducted by LoveHoney, sex lasts for 19.5 minutes on average, including 10 minutes of foreplay and 9.5 minutes of actual sex. Many sex therapists out there agree that a sex session that lasts between 7 and 13 minutes is the most desirable.
#6: How do I tell him what to do without offending him?
Given that 80 per cent of men base their pleasure on your pleasure, feel free to speak your mind and tell your partner exactly where he should put his hands and when.
If you’re concerned about how he would take it, describe it to him as a very graphic sexual fantasy, and say how much it turns you on. Don’t worry about anything else because he’ll want to make it a reality.
#7: Should I have sex during pregnancy?
Unless your doctor instructs you otherwise, there is no reason why you shouldn’t have sex when expecting. Moreover, with the increased blood flow to the pelvic area and your female hormones running wild, this is one of the most satisfying times for women!
#8: How long after giving birth can I have sex again?
If there were no complications during labor, six to eight weeks after the birth is the right time to jump back into the sack. However, don’t try to rekindle the passion right away, and focus more on rebuilding the intimacy with your partner by taking things nice and slow.
#9: Will vaginal delivery affect the size of my vagina?
Usually, yes. After delivery, the vaginal opening is 1 to 4 cm bigger than it was before, but that doesn’t mean it can’t return to its previous size. The size of your baby and the amount of time you spend pushing affect your recovery, but you can start doing your Kegel exercises described in more detail below and start getting back to normal as soon as you feel ready.
#10: What does he really think if I shave it all off?
The answer to this question differs from man to man, but one thing is for sure – most women do feel more sensual after waxing or shaving. And as for the ‘style’, you should sport, why not ask him for a suggestion?
#11: Should I introduce sex toys into the bedroom?
If you’re having trouble reaching an orgasm, it’s unlikely that your partner will mind if you pull a vibrator out of your dresser. On the other hand, sex toys deliver a short and sharp wave of pleasure which means you can develop a resistance towards a more gentle human touch or miss out on all the build-up.
Getting ‘addicted’ to sex toys can spell trouble because it could affect your partner’s self-confidence, but using it every once in a while shouldn’t be a problem.
#12: Can exercise make my sex life better?
Most definitely! Cardio exercises increase your stamina and strength training makes you stronger, and both mean you can maintain various sex positions for longer. Also, the single most important exercise that improves your sex life is the Kegel exercise. You tighten your pelvic floor and hold until you count to 8. Repeat 10 times, 3 times a day, and experience the most intense orgasm yet!
#13: I can’t have an orgasm during intercourse. What’s wrong with me?
Absolutely nothing. About 70 per cent of women can’t climax during sex without clitoral stimulation. One of you could touch your clitoris during intercourse to increase the chances of you having an orgasm, and if this doesn’t work, we suggest you invest in a lubricant and experiment alone.
Just make sure you don’t get discouraged if you don’t feel immediate fireworks.
#14: How long does it take for an average woman to have an orgasm?
It usually takes 15 to 20 minutes of direct clitoral stimulation for a woman to have an orgasm. About 75 per cent of women can climax with clitoral stimulation, while 25 per cent have orgasms through vaginal penetration. Regardless of how long it takes, you should relax, have a good time, and enjoy every moment of intimacy with your partner.
#15: Am I the only one with ‘fanny farts’?
No! Although potentially embarrassing, ‘fanny farts’ are common because sex pushes air into the vagina, and when you change positions or sex is over it tends to be forced out. Just laugh it off and carry on!