If we are going to be totally honest with ourselves, you will agree with me when I say that sharing a bed with your partner is not adorable or romantic as what we see in the movies. Won’t you agree?
I am sure you would if you have experienced waking up at night feeling cold only to find your partner hogging the blankets and sheets all at once. Or maybe you can’t find it hard to fall asleep because of your partner’s loud snores? Or perhaps you can’t sleep straight because your partner kept turning and tossing all night?
Well, the millennials have found a way to solve this sleep dilemma of yours. They call this solution the sleep divorce.
What is sleep divorce?
Sleep divorce refers to the unusual sleeping arrangement of couples wherein they are sleeping in a separate bed. There are even couples who choose to sleep in different rooms.
According to many couples, this arrangement allows them to sleep peacefully at their own time and in an environment that suits their needs the best.
Why couples choose sleep divorce
This arrangement is starting to be a common practice for most couples due to a lot of good reasons.
- For one, it is for their health. As mentioned, some people find it hard to sleep due to snoring (or even sleep apnea), night kicking, blanket hogging, and body heat. As a result, they wake up feeling cranky, exhausted and just plain irritable.
- As we all know, getting quality sleep every day is vital for our health and not getting the amount of sleep that you need can cause you (and even your relationship) to struggle in a lot of ways.
- In addition to health, another important reason would be the difference in schedules. Despite being together for so long, there is still a chance that you are working on different schedules. There will be times when your partner would like to sleep, but you still want to watch TV or need to work.
- Another reason would be the difference in your partner’s sleeping preferences. Maybe your partner sleeps better in a soft bed, but you find it hard to sleep in that kind of bed because it is too wobbly for you. Or maybe your partner likes sleeping with the lights on, but that can be a hindrance for you.
Effects of sleep divorce
Most couples who have tried bed divorce have enjoyed a wide array of benefits. If you are wondering what are the possible consequences of sleep divorce on your marriage or your health, here are some of the things that you should know about:
1. Enough sleep
If you have been sleeping beside your partner for years, you may no longer have an idea of how satisfying sleep without interruptions can be. Lack of sleep can cause you to become more irritable and cranky. It can also increase the risk of various physical ailments like obesity and hypertension.
With bed divorce, you are free from snoring, bumping, and kicking, allowing you to sleep for as long and as peaceful as you want.
2. Pressure-free sex
When you sleep with your partner, you may feel obliged to have sex with him. But what if you are too tired or not in the mood? You run the risk of forcing yourself (which may lead to less passionate sex) or having to turn him down (which may damage his and ultimately, your relationship).
Sleeping on separate rooms solves this problem. When you do not sleep on the same bed, you will have no choice but to have sex during your awake time. This may seem unnatural but believe me when I say that this will lead to more passionate sex. After all, your energy levels are still high.
3. Better relationship dynamics
Remember the quote that says you don’t know what you got till it’s gone? Well, you will find this saying holds a certain truth when you decide to go for a sleep divorce. Why is this so?
When you sleep together, all you have to do is to roll over and your partner is already there. The intimate moments would not be too special anymore since your partner is always just there.
When you sleep in separate beds, you will intentionally look for opportunities to touch and be intimate with one another.
You will exert more effort in seeking out your husband or wife for intimacy and each intimate moment will be a lot more special than before.
4. Me time
Even if you already have a wife or a husband, there will still come to a point when you would crave for some “me” time.
No matter how amazing your relationship is, you still need a time out from time to time.
A night sleeping away from your partner may give you the alone time that you need.
5. Less damage from arguments
Having some time to be alone also allows you to think better after an argument. When you sleep on separate beds, the chances of your shouting mean things at each other will be decreased. You will have more time to ponder on what transpired between the two of you, and you will wake up with a better perspective the next morning.
Sleeping apart is a choice, not a necessity
Please keep in mind that not all relationships are the same and they should never be. After all, relationships are made up of two different people with different likes, wants, and needs. That is why you should not be pressure to sleep in the same bed (but you should not also be tempted to try out sleep divorce just because it is the trend).
The key to a good relationship is to experiment with your partner. Try out different things to see which would work out for you. Do what works best for both of you. As long as you are both in agreement, you do not have to worry about what other people have to say!